the world's ugliest vampire

Vampires - the mere mention of our favorite creatures of the night conjures up images of dashing men in effeminate suits and long gleaming white fangs that are both horrific and titillating.  And, on occasion, they even gleam like a spinning disco ball in the teenage fantasies of young girls.  But who needs a handsome stranger doing the hustle, eh?  Our country got over sequins and sparkly men thirty years ago. 

Here at the UVU theatre department our incredibly talented makeup crew has been drumming up images of the grotesque and far more interesting – something suitable for Halloween, something that can make you pop out in pustules like a pubescent teen with the plague at the mere mention of his name.  While TWILIGHT may have Edward, UVU has NOSFERATU coming soon for you.  Just say it – N-O-S-F-E-R-A-T-U. And don't worry about the pronunciation – it's German. 

Yes, the world's verifiably ugliest vampire is soon to be here on the Ragan Stage with his plague rats and verifiably "so ugly" face.  After polishing his appearance to perfection, we took him for a tour of world-renowned Provo yesterday.  A quick visit of the Castle made him feel right at home followed by a leisurely drive through the rush hour streets of Provo and Orem. 

Excited to meet the locals, he couldn't stop himself from grinning out the window of our van at all his new friends on the way back to the school.  Other drivers shrieked and giggled with laughter upon meeting him.  Quoth one young lady on his appearance, "OH. MY. HELL.  You are so ugly," as she smiled and quickly rolled up the window.  Charmed by his leering grin, she sped off to tell her family and friends about Orem's newest resident.  Weary with his long journey, Nosferatu headed off to a local restaurant on University Parkway to grab a bite and gave a very positive review of local flavors.